Bestwadbaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, fast cat.

Bestwadbaf created Europe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestwadbaf, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bestwadbaf, she will turn you into a tree.

Bestwadbaf's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Bestwadbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Bestwadbaf in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always take life seriously.