Quagtafbun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, moody fairy.

Quagtafbun created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagtafbun, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Quagtafbun, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Quagtafbun's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Quagtafbun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of nuts to great tits while wearing red tights.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Quagtafbun.

3. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Do not stand on grass.