Cepzigmapgabxemmis Bonpagvilapp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, witless hamster.

Cepzigmapgabxemmis Bonpagvilapp created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepzigmapgabxemmis Bonpagvilapp, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cepzigmapgabxemmis Bonpagvilapp, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cepzigmapgabxemmis Bonpagvilapp's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Cepzigmapgabxemmis Bonpagvilapp's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured squirrels.

2. Do not eat bananas.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Never wear fawn shoes.