Mobvadfun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, overgenerous swan.

Mobvadfun created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mobvadfun, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mobvadfun, he will turn you into a plant.

Mobvadfun's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Mobvadfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect eight silver sculptures of Mobvadfun on top of important buildings.

3. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

4. Never feed onions to manatees while wearing tights.

5. Do not commit murder.