Quartgessjop is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, intelligent camel.

Quartgessjop created the Sol system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartgessjop, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quartgessjop, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Quartgessjop's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Quartgessjop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat rice.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Never mention capybaras.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.