Ontfedken is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, humorless horse.

Ontfedken created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontfedken, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ontfedken, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Ontfedken's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Ontfedken's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Always help sick mites.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never mention seals.