Veencapkab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, humane donkey.

Veencapkab created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Veencapkab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Veencapkab, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Veencapkab's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Veencapkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. You must love Veencapkab.

3. Retreat if nine rats approach from the south.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not hurt squirrels.