Ruttimwontip is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, selfish dragon.

Ruttimwontip created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttimwontip, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Ruttimwontip, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Ruttimwontip's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Ruttimwontip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near porpoises while wearing blue tights.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always obey Ruttimwontip's priests.