Tonkflypark is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, quiet wasp.

Tonkflypark created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkflypark, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tonkflypark, she will throw large rocks at you.

Tonkflypark's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Tonkflypark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about turnips.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.