Fetvidtaffly is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, self-confident eagle.

Fetvidtaffly created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Fetvidtaffly, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fetvidtaffly, it will turn you into a puffin.

Fetvidtaffly's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Fetvidtaffly's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Feed all hungry geese.

3. Always help squirrels.

4. You must never eat lemons.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fetvidtaffly.