Pomlagomtrig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unfair capybara.

Pomlagomtrig created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomlagomtrig, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pomlagomtrig, it will not invite you to parties.

Pomlagomtrig's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Pomlagomtrig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured goats.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near moths while wearing turquoise skirts and balancing three titanium spheres on your feet.

4. Pomlagomtrig loves mites, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.