Farkipomin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, wise mongoose.

Farkipomin created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farkipomin, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Farkipomin, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Farkipomin's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Farkipomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

5. Do not chant in public.