Yartvinfubweggeb is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, compassionate slug.

Yartvinfubweggeb created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartvinfubweggeb, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yartvinfubweggeb, he will send you a sign.

Yartvinfubweggeb's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Yartvinfubweggeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.