Flatcemhiv is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, all-powerful dove.

Flatcemhiv created the Black Eye Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatcemhiv, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flatcemhiv, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Flatcemhiv's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Flatcemhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Never feed bananas to voles while wearing fawn hats.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always obey Flatcemhiv's priests.

5. Pray towards the west.