Himjanboparf Cussditcim is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, ill-tempered dingo.

Himjanboparf Cussditcim created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Himjanboparf Cussditcim, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Himjanboparf Cussditcim, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Himjanboparf Cussditcim's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Himjanboparf Cussditcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to goats while wearing purple kilts.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always treat tapirs with great respect.