Cudgammigflamflat Figkabkom is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, temperamental horse.

Cudgammigflamflat Figkabkom created the Tadpole Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Cudgammigflamflat Figkabkom, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cudgammigflamflat Figkabkom, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cudgammigflamflat Figkabkom's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cudgammigflamflat Figkabkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never feed oranges to manatees while wearing cyan kilts.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near voles while wearing brown skirts and balancing three iron spheres on your head.