Femhivloop Hubtunhug is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, uncaring lion.

Femhivloop Hubtunhug created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Femhivloop Hubtunhug, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Femhivloop Hubtunhug, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Femhivloop Hubtunhug's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Femhivloop Hubtunhug's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never feed wheat to moths while wearing rings.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never paint your neck indigo.

5. Always help dogs in need.