Baptipmet is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, sage porpoise.

Baptipmet created a down quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Baptipmet, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Baptipmet, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Baptipmet's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Baptipmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always look after injured turtles.