Bonsabtim is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, blissful giraffe.

Bonsabtim created an atom three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonsabtim, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bonsabtim, it will turn you into a duck.

Bonsabtim's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bonsabtim's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never bounce in the presence of nematodes.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.