Kemcemmil is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awesome dog.

Kemcemmil created a down quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Kemcemmil, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kemcemmil, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Kemcemmil's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Kemcemmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never sing near ducks.

5. Do not speak about limes.