Pibafmig is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unthoughtful monkey.

Pibafmig created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibafmig, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pibafmig, he will turn you into a slug.

Pibafmig's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Pibafmig's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Pibafmig.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Run away if six birds approach from the north.

5. Never play with disobedient children.