Hotvigsig is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, two-faced mole.

Hotvigsig created the planet Venus three million years ago.

If you believe in Hotvigsig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Hotvigsig, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hotvigsig's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Hotvigsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never go into black rooms.

5. You must pray to Hotvigsig eight times a day.