Vonhabtin Hamrotapp is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, irritating capybara.

Vonhabtin Hamrotapp created the Sun eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonhabtin Hamrotapp, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vonhabtin Hamrotapp, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vonhabtin Hamrotapp's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Vonhabtin Hamrotapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never bounce near hamsters.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.