Nakkiphog is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, confident faun.

Nakkiphog created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakkiphog, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nakkiphog, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Nakkiphog's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Nakkiphog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Nakkiphog on top of all buildings.

5. Nakkiphog must be the most important thing in your life.