Luncenzed is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unsympathetic raccoon.

Luncenzed created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Luncenzed, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Luncenzed, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Luncenzed's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Luncenzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near snails while wearing yellow corsets and balancing eight copper spheres on your feet.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Never talk about tapirs.