Ponzagpibgut is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest duck.

Ponzagpibgut created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponzagpibgut, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Ponzagpibgut, he will turn you into a rat.

Ponzagpibgut's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Ponzagpibgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of rats.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Put Ponzagpibgut first in all things.

4. Always help otters in need.

5. You must love Ponzagpibgut.