Metlatwad is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, compassionate owl.

Metlatwad created an electron five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metlatwad, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Metlatwad, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Metlatwad's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Metlatwad's Holy Commandments

1. Metlatwad loves mites, so they must be respected.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

5. Respect your elders.