Popvenbest Kannilbadhadbom is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, fast crab.

Popvenbest Kannilbadhadbom created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Popvenbest Kannilbadhadbom, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Popvenbest Kannilbadhadbom, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Popvenbest Kannilbadhadbom's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Popvenbest Kannilbadhadbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Never laugh in the presence of turtles.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.