Rultitlap Doddoggig is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, overgenerous crab.

Rultitlap Doddoggig created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rultitlap Doddoggig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rultitlap Doddoggig, he will cry a lot.

Rultitlap Doddoggig's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Rultitlap Doddoggig's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rultitlap Doddoggig.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Feed all hungry gulls.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never pour water over plants.