Zagfabjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, vain gorilla.

Zagfabjarn created the Milkyway three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagfabjarn, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zagfabjarn, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Zagfabjarn's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Zagfabjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Zagfabjarn.

2. Never laugh in the presence of doves.

3. Never hurt birds.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.