Gilsagvonkkap is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, all-knowing meerkat.

Gilsagvonkkap created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilsagvonkkap, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gilsagvonkkap, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gilsagvonkkap's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Gilsagvonkkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention moths.

2. Feed all hungry voles.

3. Worship no other gods but Gilsagvonkkap.

4. Never jump in the presence of ducks.

5. Never think ill of sick badgers.