Flapmatripcan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, uncaring squid.

Flapmatripcan created the Milkyway six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapmatripcan, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flapmatripcan, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Flapmatripcan's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Flapmatripcan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flapmatripcan.