Pommonkenlan is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, able hedgehog.

Pommonkenlan created Asia eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pommonkenlan, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pommonkenlan, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Pommonkenlan's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Pommonkenlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. Do not take Pommonkenlan's name in vain.

3. Do not keep three monkeys in a large pit.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think ill of sick whales.