Safbestzakpop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, competent wren.

Safbestzakpop created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Safbestzakpop, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Safbestzakpop, she will remove you from existence.

Safbestzakpop's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Safbestzakpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear magenta dresses.

2. Never think about optics near doves while wearing violet trousers and balancing four nickel spheres on your hands.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Safbestzakpop must be the most important thing in your life.