Hapbandudsin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, intelligent horse.

Hapbandudsin created a quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapbandudsin, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hapbandudsin, he will not care.

Hapbandudsin's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Hapbandudsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to ducks while wearing shirts.

2. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Hapbandudsin in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always help sick snakes.

4. Hapbandudsin loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

5. Hapbandudsin must be the most important thing in your life.