Cumluncenyokwabsat Hanbelljam is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, pitiless wyrm.

Cumluncenyokwabsat Hanbelljam created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumluncenyokwabsat Hanbelljam, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cumluncenyokwabsat Hanbelljam, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Cumluncenyokwabsat Hanbelljam's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Cumluncenyokwabsat Hanbelljam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to gulls while wearing yellow tights.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never talk about snakes.