Fartaltin is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humorless dingo.

Fartaltin created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fartaltin, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fartaltin, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fartaltin's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Fartaltin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Fartaltin in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always help sick seals.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Fartaltin.

5. Do not covet oxen.