Bodfubcim is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, slow jaguar.

Bodfubcim created the universe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodfubcim, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bodfubcim, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bodfubcim's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Bodfubcim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat wheat.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

5. Never feed cherries to dolphins while wearing skirts.