Ratarnsad is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, conceited dugong.

Ratarnsad created a down quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratarnsad, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ratarnsad, it will turn you into a snail.

Ratarnsad's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Ratarnsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ratarnsad.

3. Never hop near ducks.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.