Rulvog is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, duplicitous dryad.

Rulvog created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Rulvog, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rulvog, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Rulvog's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Rulvog's Holy Commandments

1. Rulvog loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

2. Never feed parsnips to snails while wearing kilts.

3. Never think ill of sick seals.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not listen to music.