Capkomsog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, effective giraffe.

Capkomsog created humanity nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Capkomsog, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Capkomsog, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Capkomsog's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Capkomsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Capkomsog.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.