Negmegwon Getkiprenmot Vagkarhap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, conceited mongoose.

Negmegwon Getkiprenmot Vagkarhap created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negmegwon Getkiprenmot Vagkarhap, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Negmegwon Getkiprenmot Vagkarhap, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Negmegwon Getkiprenmot Vagkarhap's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Negmegwon Getkiprenmot Vagkarhap's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near turtles.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Do not eat melons.

4. Do not kill nematodes.

5. Erect six platinum sculptures of Negmegwon Getkiprenmot Vagkarhap on top of important buildings.