Yampigbag is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, awesome ant.

Yampigbag created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yampigbag, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yampigbag, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yampigbag's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Yampigbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

2. Do not eat melons.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Run away from blue turtles, for they are unholy.