Cutsafhan is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, capable sheep.

Cutsafhan created the Sun nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cutsafhan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cutsafhan, he will turn you into a snail.

Cutsafhan's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Cutsafhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Never eat cucumbers.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about dark energy near tortoises while wearing magenta scarves and balancing eight iron spheres on your arms.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.