Ratpadgess is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, emotional guinea pig.

Ratpadgess created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ratpadgess, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ratpadgess, he will try to impress you with trees.

Ratpadgess' most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Ratpadgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Run away if eight rats approach from the south.