Wapvintim is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, effective dolphin.

Wapvintim created an atom six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapvintim, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wapvintim, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Wapvintim's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Wapvintim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never sprint in holy places.

3. Gulls are not to be trusted.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.