Dam is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, tiresome snail.

Dam created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dam, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dam, he will throw large rocks at you.

Dam's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Dam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

2. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not hurt monkeys.

5. Do not chop down trees.