Fonpodrul is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, awesome snail.

Fonpodrul created tapeworms four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonpodrul, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fonpodrul, it will laugh at you.

Fonpodrul's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Fonpodrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never eat cucumbers.

5. Do not commit murder.