Fonkamzag Yoksitmat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, unthoughtful dog.

Fonkamzag Yoksitmat created the Black Eye Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonkamzag Yoksitmat, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fonkamzag Yoksitmat, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Fonkamzag Yoksitmat's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Fonkamzag Yoksitmat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

2. Hide from brown doves for they are unholy.

3. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

4. Always help shrews in need.

5. You must love Fonkamzag Yoksitmat.