Vonzogbif is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, tranquil mouse.

Vonzogbif created water seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonzogbif, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonzogbif, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Vonzogbif's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Vonzogbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to whales while wearing corsets.

2. Erect a giant green sculpture of Vonzogbif in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Hide if eight turtles approach from the south.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.